Recently I have been getting out a little more and meeting new people. A questions that always seems to come up (which is a normal "get to know you" question) is "Do you have any children?" My answer of course is "Yes." Follow up is almost automatic. "How many?" This is a very difficult question for me to answer and one that brings tears to my eyes everytime. I know these new people who have never met me probably think..."What is with this weirdo?" while I hesitate to answer. How many children do I have? Well... do you want a simple number as of the present? That would be the easiest way to answer. "I have two girls... Skylar, who is 7 and Kassey, who is 2." But, really I have 3 beautiful girls... one just happens to be an angel now. Am I not suppose to mention her? What a conversation ender it is to mention your daughter passed away almost 2 months ago. Talk about akward silence following that piece of information! I don't want Kyara's memory to be forgotten. I want people to talk to me about her. Yes, I will probably cry. Yes, it will be difficult. But it is also such a blessing to have people ask about her. What she was like. What she liked to do. How she blessed my life for 5 and 1/2 years. How she brought me back to God. She was/is amazing. Those who knew her before the cardiac arrest, I am sure have fond memories of her. Mention them to me! Please don't think she should not be mentioned so that I can be protected from the pain. She was one of my babies and knowing how she touched others' lives brings me joy.
So, back to what I first started this blog with... What to say when someone asks me how many children I have. I am not sure how to answer. She is still my daughter. She is just with her Almighty Father, now. I think it will depend on who is asking as to how I will answer. The cashier at the grocery store will probably get the "2" answer. Someone I will be spending more time with, and creating a lasting relationship with, may get a "2 girls and a beautiful angel" answer. I think it also depends on my emotional state at the time. If I know I am already about to start wailing just thinking about her, I may skip any conversation and go find some tissues!!!
Skylar is turning 8 years old next week. I can't believe it! We are having a couple of girls spend the night on Friday and then a few more over on Saturday for movie and pizza. Skylar's first spend-the-night party. YIKES!! I am not sure I am ready for this! Skylar is also finishing her soccer season on Sunday. Alot going on this weekend! School is almost out, and I am not sure where the time has gone. It seems like school just started.
Kassey is as crazy as ever. She is a climbing maniac! She loves to climb on everything. Jump on trampolines, run in the driveway, go on the zip-line. She is all over it all! She thinks she is as big as Skylar.
Gunars is playing basketball and soccer during the week which has given him a good outlet to burn off some emotions and stress. We are also doing P90X. For those of you who know what that is, pray for us!! For those of you who don't know... pray for us! It is an extreme workout for 90 days. I am hoping it will get me in shape to run the Peachtree Road Race on July 4th, but considering I ran 2 miles the other day and had to stop 3-4 times, I have a LONG way to go! As I said...pray for us!
I would also like to thank everyone for the delicious meals that were given to us after Kyara passed away. It was so nice to not have to think about cooking. Sometimes I had a hard time thinking about showering, but I wouldn't dare ask anyone to come and scrub my back! Thank you so much for helping us in so many tremendous ways. Thank you to all who have donated to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta in Kyara's memory. We know the children at Scottish Rite benefit from the donations.
4 comments:
I might suggest always saying you have 3 children. If someone pursues it you can say that only 2 live at home. If you are in a longer term relationship with someone you can tell them that one daughter has graduated to angel.
After giving it some thought, I think you should say whatever your heart feels at the time. We that know you will always think that you have 3 girls. Eventually, some will say why the big age gap between Skylar and Kassey? Thoughts of Kyara will never leave any of us who knew her. People do tend to shy away from conversations of death, although this could be a great opportunity to share your Kyara and maybe they will have a similar situation. You never know what door God might open because of Kyara. She will continue to touch lives even though she has angel wings! For some reason people usually do not want to deal with the sorrow that it would cause you or themselves. It is certain that she will always be on or in your mind throughout the day or night. Not a day goes by when Kyara isn't crossing my mind. A song on the radio, a little girl in the store, her pictures in my house, thinking of you and your family. Time will heal the open wound, but without a doubt, no one could forget Kyara. We love you guys...Skylar, be lookin' for your birthday surprise!! Love Always, Spokane
OH such a hard question. YOu will always have three. You never know how you sharing your angel's story will help others. I have never met you or your girls (I knew Gunars waaaayyy long ago) but your story has blessed my life! I hope you will still feel the prayers in your behalf. ((HUGS))
...you have three beautiful girls.
Genie, I think my little sister will also be in Georgia for the Peachtree event (hopefully you guys can find a few minutes to meet and she can deliver my HUGE HUG to you, Gunars, and the girls :)
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