Spring!

This spring has been full of life.  Mostly its good, sometimes its… not as good.  Its life. 

I finished my first semester of student teaching.  While it was difficult to leave Kassey, not be home when Skylar was done with school, and to juggle schedules in ensure everyone got to their activities, I must admit I really enjoyed being at the school.  The students were fun and the teachers I worked with were extremely positive.  It was nice to have something that was "mine."  Of course, by the time I only had 1-2 weeks left, I was counting down the days to get back to being “mom” again.  

I also have a greater appreciation for my friends who are working mothers.  I am not sure how you guys do it!!  Laundry, cleaning, dinner, chauffering from one thing to the next, all while working long hours out of the house!  Amazing.  I can truthfully tell you, I can count on one hand the number of nights I actually cooked at home while working.  They all happened the first week, before soccer started!  After soccer, I was lucky to get a PB&J made before we were heading out the door on the way to the fields! 

This spring we marked Kyara’s 2^nd Heavenly Birthday.  I am finding that I am missing her so much more now than I did last year.  Instead of getting more peace, I am more and more unsettled by her absence.  I can feel myself withdrawal from my family and at times I wind up in a hole of emptiness, sadness, and longing for her.  It is extremely difficult to get out of these funks and I know my attitude affects my entire household.  I am not sure how to describe the pain that accompanies these harder times.  It like the air has been removed and each time I try to take a breath, my chest and throat get tighter and tighter.  I have heard the saying about an elephant sitting on your chest, well, I think the elephant is squashing me sometimes! 

“You saw me before I was born.  Everyday of my life was recorded in your book.

  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

-          Psalm 139:16

Being reminded of God's love and that He knew the plans He had for Kyara before she was ever born is relief.   I know we have free will, but God knew the ending before the beginning was set in motion.  As parents we are given these precious blessings to love, comfort, teach, and then love some more.  They are a gift to us from our loving Father.  He doesn’t promise us a certain amount of time with them, just asks us to love them and raise them to be His children while they are in our care for His perfect timing.  But as the human mom that I am, I can’t help but question His timing.  This certainly was NOT my timing.  Kyara was suppose to grow older, graduate from high school and college, get married, have a family, have adventures… lose her first tooth.  The little things we take for granted.    And I can’t help but wonder “WHY?”…

I still don't know, nor do I think I will ever know the answer to why, but I am looking for how I can take the pain, the experience and make it an opprotunity for growth and development.  Somedays, some weeks, I seem to be on a better track than others.  One thing I have been struck by is the love others poured out on our family duing our heartache.  Others were there asking how they could serve us.

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace."

- 1 Peter 4:10

This summer, Skylar and I are embarking on a new adventure.  I had written in the past that missionary work was something that had been placed on my heart, and I wasn't sure how or when, but it was somthing I wanted to seek out.  Well, our church is going on a mission trip to Belize and Skylar and I are going with them.   This trip is really special to me for several reasons.  It is the first one I have been on, Skylar will be going with me, and it is focused on children in a extremely poverty striken part of the country.  We will visit orphanages, do a Vacation Bible School, provide dental hygene and cardiovascular information, and even do a sports ministry.  I am thrilled to be a part of this amazing opprotunity to serve others.  I am also scared to death by this!   I am absolutely going outside my comfort zone.  I am not the most outgoing person, and I don't share well with others (although I have tried to be open on here.  For some crazy reason writing my thoughts and putting them on the web for anyone to read seems safer than speaking to a group of people!)  I hear people say all the time that by going on a mission trip where you are serving others, many times, YOU are the one changed.  I am praying to keep an open heart and an open mind on this trip.

We ask that you pray for our mission team as we embark on this journey.  We are currently raising money for the trip and for supplies for our missions.  We were able to save about $2000 on airfare which freed up funds to supply construction supplies for the community to build a preschool.  Amazing how God goes before us to prepare the way!  We appreciate your prayers as we are getting ready for this amazing journey.  If you would like to make a financial contribution checks can be sent to:

 Fayetteville First United Methodist Church
175 E. Lanier Avenue
Fayetteville, GA 30214-1659
Please include Belize Mission trip and Skylar and/or Genie Dzenis in the memo line.


We are also sponsoring a Golf Tournament at Whitewater Country Club.  Those of you golfers in town, please consider playing in this tournament.  We are also looking for hole sponsors and tournament sponsors.  For more information or to register to play online go to:  http://www.fayettevillefirst.com/index.php



Kyara's Park in Griffin is well on its way.  The community has really embraced the center and although it is not completely finished yet, it is moving forward.  We are excited about this work!  I will post pictures soon!

Some recent pictures of our fun this spring:

Pettting sharks at the Georgia Aquarium

Getting Kisses from the some crazy creatures at the Coke Museum

Kassey's punching gloves were bigger than her!  Notice how she can't even stand up straight!

Skylar and Kassey hamming it up for the camera at the Butterfly Garden at Callaway Gardens.

Poor girls spend half their time in the car going from one adventure to the next!

Kassey's 4 year old doctor appointment.  This was BEFORE she knew she was going to have 4 shots.  She was tough though and barely whimpered after the 4th shot.

Skylar was Harriet Beecher Stowe at school.  She would recite a speech about herself for each group of  students that came to her.

We went to Medeviel Times for Mother's Day.  We had a blast until our knight lost his battle!  Thank goodness the evil Green Knight didn't win!

HAPPY EASTER!

A Long Time Coming

I saw the date of my last post and to be honest, I am surprised.  Where has the time gone?  I guess life moves by quickly and sometimes, if I don't do things when I think of them, I forget to do them.  Hence the reason I have not written on the blog in months.  I have thought lovingly about the support and relief I got from this blog.  During the worst times in my life, I was able to put my thoughts and emotions out there in cyberland and I received an enormous amount of love and blessings from those who read and commented.  Sometimes it allowed me to deal with what was happening in a very therapeautic way.

But, life continues and things happen.  The past few months have proved to have some major changes in our lives.  The biggest change is that I have started my student teaching.  This means I have taken off my stay-at-home mom hat and put on the working mother hat.  I can't say it has been easy.  I miss being at home with my babies (well...I guess Skylar and Kassey aren't technically babies any more, but they will always be my babies!)  I am teaching 6th grade math.  Come to find out, middle schoolers are a completely different breed!   I have a fantastic supervising teacher, who is very supportive, encouraging, and has helped make the transition as easy as possible.  Kassey has been adjusting to daycare, but we are lucky to be able to keep it all in the family.  My sister-in-law runs a in-home daycare and had a spot to take Kassey.  Kassey loves being able to see 4 of her cousins every weekday!  I gotta admit, I am not sure I am loving it as much.  When I would pick her up at school in the fall she would run at me with a huge smile on her face yelling 'Mommy!!"  The excitement on her face was precious.  Well, I can kiss those day goodbye.  Now when I come to pick her up, she hides and cries that she doesn't want to leave.  I think Aunt Missy must be bribing her with candy or something!  :)

Skylar is also adjusting to the change.  A teacher at her school offered to let Skylar stay with her and her daughters after school until I get home.  What a God-send!  Skylar is able to get her homework done and I know she is safe.  Skylar played basketball and lacrosse over the winter and is now back in the swing with soccer.  I really liked the fact that she tried different sports during the winter.  I think she appreciated the fact that I know nothing about either one, so I couldn't coach her!  Gotta admit,  I kinda liked just being "Mom".

In the last post I shared before pictures of Kyara's Park.  We have had 2 build dates, but the building is still not completely finished.  The project is still very exciting, though!  There are many different organization who are looking forward to using the community center as an outreach for the people in the area.  God's hand is all over this project.  I am thrilled to be a part of it and I look forward to the day that the center is completed and can be used by the neighborhood.

Last year God placed it on my heart to look into a mission trip.  I was not sure at the time where this would lead me.  I didn't even know where to start, but I felt there is something I am suppose to be doing.  In the fall, I caught wind that my church was going to Belize on a mission trip this coming summer.  After finding out more about what was involved in the trip, SKYLAR and I have signed up.  We will be visiting children in the orphanage, participating in a Vacation Bible school, playing sports with the kids and spreading Jesus' love to the people in a small town just outside Belize City.  I am super excited about this opprotunity and I will share more as we know more.  My goal is to go with an open mind and an open heart.  I hope I can share the love and comfort I have received through Jesus with others as well deepen my relationship with Jesus.  I will share more as we get closer to this exciting opprotunity.