Kyara Dzenis

Kyara Dzenis

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Thanksgiving... What am I most thankful for?  Memories.  Not that I want to live in the past, but what a joy to be able to remember the good times.  Now, if memories could be a little more selective, that would absolutely rule.  "Only the good ones, please!"  But, to be honest, sometimes the bad ones are good, too.  It reminds me of how much I loved Kyara because of how much they hurt.  A little weird?  I want to remember my memories, and each day they seem to be slipping slowly away.  The sound of Kyara's laughter is slipping away.  The warmth of her touch, the smell of her hair, the funny things she would say and do.  When I am in the moment, I think, I will remember this forever, but it doesn't happen.  People grow and change and the new memories cover the old. 

 I am getting used to having only two girls at home.  It rips at my heart. I don't want to get used to it.  This is not how it was suppose to go.  Sometimes, even the painful memories are welcomed with open arms. 

So, I have decided to share some of my memories.  Not all at once, I want to cherish them, too.  But, here and there... a memory.

Kyara had her own nickname for herself.  Yes, we called her Kiki sometimes, especially when she was a baby and toddler.  But, even as she got older, there was one that stuck and she would remind me of her name.  I would call her "Silly".  And everytime, she would reply:  "My name is not Silly, its 'Goofyhead.'"
No exclamation point.  She was completely serious and would deadpan the answer.  I don't remember where she got this name, but she liked it.  A memory that makes me smile through my tears.

I love you and I miss you so much, Goofyhead! 


Anonymous said...

i never met her but i will never forget her,thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your wonderful family with all of us. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

The Kudenholdts said...

Sometimes the memory will seem in a far of distance. You can't seem to recall them but when you need them the memory will come back. It's like something familiar. They will be with you forever. Enjoy each memory when they come and even when they go.

Linda in Illinois said...

I have been reading your blog for quite awhile...I used to write more but now just check in on you. I want you to know that we are still out here thinking and praying for you. I can't imagine your daily struggles but please know that we haven't forgot you, your family or your beautiful angel.