It is Monday, and they had said that she could resume therapy today, but as my title suggest, it did not happen. The neurosurgeon came in this morning and was surprised that she did not have bedside therapy this weekend. He said to get bedside therapy today and tomorrow and then she could go back to the gym on Wednesday. Of course, by the time orders got in, she didn't get any therapy today because she was not scheduled. Now I am told they will not get her back in the gym until Thursday. I am VERY frustrated with this.
She had the dressing on her incisions removed today. Praise God they look good. She has 14 staples in her abdomen and 5 in her back. The incision sights are clean and look great, though. I don't knwo when they are going to remove the staples, but I guess they will let me know when its time.
Kyara has been up and down lately. The doctors are still adjusting the baclofen amounts while they decreased most of her other medications. She is off the methadone and valium, the clonodine patch is off, and there is one or two other meds that she is off, too. Klonopin is the next drug to go off, although, the rehab doc on service now is talking about increasing it because it is suppose to help with agitation. And talk about agitation, when Kyara is upset, she has some lungs on her!
I am not fairing as well lately. I am not sure why, but I am feeling much more heartbroken and depressed lately than I have in a while. This weekend has been tough with it being Mother's Day and seeing my family and everything. I am trying my best to play with Skylar and Kassey and stay positive in all respects, but I am having a hard time with it. In fact, I had to call my parents last night to relieve me at the hospital because I could not get myself together. I don't want to have negative vibes around Kyara, so my dad came up and stayed and I went home and had Gunars just hold me. I think having Kyara just lying in the bed again has really had an effect on me. I am tired, and I am trying to take care of myself. I am praying that God will comfort us and heal Kyara. I am trying to let go and let God take over, but I am having a VERY hard time with that. How do you just hand it over and not worry? I know that is what I should be doing, but I don't know how.
15 comments:
Letting go and not worrying is often the hardest thing to do Genie. I think we as mothers feel compelled to do it, because, after all, doesn't somebody need to do it? I wish I had an answer. Hand it to Him as best you can. Our God is mighty to save. I am praying for you and Kyara.
Adrienne Maples
WRES
I cannot imagine the struggles you are facing now, and I pray for a peace that passes all understanding to overcome you. Know that God knows your heart and your struggles and is there for you through it all. Only He can provide the healing that you, your family and Kyara desire. Hold tight to that, and know that when you are down, you have an army praying for you and when you are up we are all rejoicing with you!!
In Christ,
Amy Brandon
let go and not worry,no way your human and your a parent
this does not mean that you don't trust god because you do it's just you have so much love for your child and god knows this
I have always struggled with handing situations over to God, too. It makes it even harder when something as simple as scheduling means that she doesn't get therapy another day. You are working so hard with her in therapy, and it is hard to watch her stay in bed rather than get her needed therapy. I am so glad you were able to go home and have time with Gunars. With prayers, Clara
I think all mothers struggle with hadning things over to anyone, including God. Just remember that HE is the ultimate healer of ALL things. I had a time in my life where I would write things that were worrying/bothering me down and burn them as a symbolic way of saying that they were out of my hands and in God's. Know that you are loved and being prayed for constantly.
Lana
Genie-Does the hospital provide a counseling service where you could have someone to talk with who is familiar with the parents of recovering children? There must be some type of service connected w/ Child Life or something similar? It's time to find someone you and your family can talk with. Often they even have programs kids can go to. It's worth the time to investige it.
Take Care-
Susan K.
Genie,
We wish so much that there were words to help with the pain you feel. Of course God is in control and has this in His mighty hands. God chose you for Kyara's mother and He knows you! You should feel what it is you feel without guilt or fear. Guilt and fear are not from God. (You may not be having feelings of guilt and fear, but I know those are some of my own struggles.) The pain and the concerns are what God expects from the good Mother He knows you are. You can share all of those things with Him without feeling bad about it.
We are praying for you and Kyara!
We love all of you guys!
Laurie and Josette
Genie,
I know of a good christian counselor in Henry County. I don't know if he travels but may. If you would like to know more get with your dad he has my numbers. We are praying.
Jason Becker
Fear not...God will rescue your doubt and fears with a mighty power. Kyara will prevail!
Genie- At bed time on Mothers Day I prayed for Kyara but I also prayed especially for you. You are on my mind through all of this. One passage that comforts me is "HE draws near to the brokenhearted" Just know that Jesus Loves Kyara, Skylar and Kassey SO deeply. You are prayed for! Cristen Schmalz
As a grandparent to a "challenged" grandchild I feel your pain and live with it daily -- I know that it is tough but it can be handled and know that she is now and will always be a blessing and teach you the real meaning of love -- I will be glad to listen and talk -- challenges with a brain injured child can be many and something seem to talk over your life --e mail if you need to talk -pitmankl@hotmail.com
Genie-I am not sure that I should write but I figured its worth a shot. I haven't written only once before but I keep up with Kyara's care. I'm Robert Rawlings fiance and a physical therapist that work with brain injured and disabled children. I really think speaking to someone who has a child who is now at home but has gone thru similar circumstances would help. I can help you get in touch with someone if you would like. Email me if you like, emily@warecentre.com. Robert and I are praying for you all.
Genie, you are doing the best that you can! Remember that God does His best work when we are weak!!! I don't know if this will help you or not, but I know when I try to give things to God and struggle, I try to picture Jesus sitting in my chair at home. I picture whatever my problem is in his arms. Then, I picture that whenever I feel weak. So, right now, I placing Kyara and you in His arms in my red recliner. I pray you will feel His arms around you. It is okay to be weak and to feel weak. You are human! We love you and pray without ceasing for all of you. Oh, almost forgot our HOPE word---it is X, but we are going to turn it to be +. The cross--leave it all there with HIM> Love you, wink
Genie when you go to bed tonight, ask God to remove the heavy weight of sorrow and worry from your shoulders. Let your great love for Kyara radiate from within your heart and God will answer your prayer. We love you and your family. Sincerely, Richard J.
Just a quick note to let you know we are thinking of you always and praying hard for God to help you through this nightmare you have found yourself in. He is with you and Kyara, He hears your cries and He will answer them. Hold tightly to your faith and don't let go. When you feel too tired or worn down to go another step, remember the Poem, Footsteps in the sand. He is there, He will carry you and restore your strength. He will carry your burdens until you are ready to try again. Even then as He releases them back to you, He will not leave you, He will walk beside you and hold your hand. Always remember, As much as you love Kyara, He loves you more!!!
I pray He will use me in some way to better your situation or at least bring you some comfort. I will see you Monday, if you need any help with that, PLEASE don't be afraid to let me know. God Bless you all and shower you with His Peace.
Anne Henley
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