I wrote a long post about 2 hours ago and for some reason, I was not able to post it. Since it didn't save it, I will try to summarize. Of course the other one was brilliant (haha), so this one will be a sorry replacement. :)
Last night my mom stayed with Kyara so I could get home to a doctor's appointment. Everything is fine, just need some of my own medication. Dealing with everything that has gone on here has really worn on my nerves and I am finding I have a hard time controlling my moods. When we are in therapy and Kyara does something new or follows commands, then I am on cloud nine, when we are back in the room alone, at night when she is crying and I can't calm her, or even on the drive home when my mind wanders I can get into a very low sad state. I am working on staying positive and trying to block the negative thoughts that butt their way in.
Kyara slept most of the night last night and half the day today. She is still recovering from the baclofen pump surgery and she will be on bed rest until Monday. No therapies. I don't understand why she can't have at least speech come in. She doesn't have to move for speech. Well, I am going to ask about that in the morning. So far, she seems to be recovering well. We are still on the watch for infection, and please pray that she doesn't get one. That would mean surgery to remove the pump and then not being able to replace it for MONTHS! I can already tell a difference in her legs when I changed her pants. Much easier. Her arms and hands are still very tight, though, so the doctors still have work to do with the meds. As the doctors go up on the baclofen, we are coming down on some of the other meds: valium and dantrium. She also had her last dose of methadone tonight! YEA! I am glad we are able to start taking some of these drugs off! I am praying that Kyara has a peaceful night tonight and a good day tomorrow.
I was home most of the day today. Since Kyara was sleeping soundly, and my mom was with her, I took the opprotunity to stay with Kassey and Skylar. Kassey was actually sick this morning, so I ended up taking her to the doctors. She liked it much better today than last week: no shots! After three visits to the pharmacy, they finally had her presciption at 5:00 this afternoon. I was also able to get Skylar off the bus today. God, I have missed doing that! Thank you for the chance today. I think Skylar was pleasantly surprised, too. She asked if I would be there tomorrow when she got off the bus. "Sorry, Sweetie, but no." :( I took Skylar to karate and ate dinner with the girls, Gunars and Luz Estela before heading back to the hospital tonight. My mom was a trooper staying all day for me. I think she enjoyed the quiet time to read while Kyara was sleeping.
So, tonight I am thanking God for the blessings He gave me today. I was able to spend most of the day with Kassey and Skylar. I was able to step back into the real world, for a day and do the things I would have normally done. It is amazing how much I have missed these little things. Getting Skylar off the bus, taking Kassey to the doctor, doing the "Mom" things. I am praising God for the change in Kyara's legs and I am asking Him to lay His hands on Kyara. To allow her brain to make the connections that will bring her back to us. I pray He comforts us as we push forward each day, that we can see His miracles and take the time to notice the blessings He gives us each day.
8 comments:
You bring tears to my eyes once again, which is not hard to do but I feel you so much everything you are going through. I pray everything continues well and Kyara comes back so she could be home with all of you doing things a 4 year old should be doing, fighting with her sisters and driving you crazy. Those are the joys of motherhood, it is why we have them. I will pray God does the miracle soon rather than later. God bless you all.
Love,
Ivette
I am so glad you were able to spend the day with Skylar and Kassey yseterday. They need that and so do you. Take care of yourself too! The devotional I read today applies to Kyara and to you too. Here it is:
May 8, 2009
Cast and Present
Melissa Taylor
"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22 (NIV)
Devotion:
We were driving home from my mom's house when it happened again. I glanced in my rear view mirror and saw my son Hayden. His eyes were fluttering and his face was pale. I could tell he would be out in a matter of seconds.
My husband stopped the car and I crawled quickly to the back, shouting Hayden's name. His body went limp. Although he was only out for about twenty seconds, it seemed like an hour. This was the third time Hayden had passed out in the last two weeks. I was so scared about his condition. He had some tests scheduled, which hopefully would tell us and the doctors what was going on.
What was causing him to pass out? Would the doctors be able to help him?
The next morning I opened my Bible study book, eager for some time with God. I could not believe my eyes. The title of the lesson was The Great Physician. Immediately I felt a sense of comfort and peace over me. I know the Great Physician well. And I trust Him. At that moment I was no longer worried about Hayden. I knew he was in very capable hands, the mighty hands of the Great Physician. Regardless of what happened, I know the Great Physician had great plans for Hayden, no matter his condition.
The Great Physician is here for all of us. He wants us to come to Him for healing. How stubborn we can be sometimes. I remember once when I was sick. I needed to go to the doctor but didn't feel like making an appointment, passing hours in a waiting room, and spending money on a prescription. I figured I would feel better eventually. I put it off each day until I was so sick I could hardly get out of bed. Finally I went to the doctor. He diagnosed me with strep throat, administered a very painful shot, and I was better within twenty four hours! If only I had gone sooner I would have saved myself a lot of trouble!
The same is true with the Great Physician. How many times do I worry for days or try to solve a problem on my own? When I finally release it to Him, I think, Why didn't I turn it over to Him a long time ago?
God's Word tells us to "cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall" (Psalm 55:22). It also reads, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Philippians 4:6).
We aren't supposed to fix ourselves. We aren't supposed to worry and fret. We are supposed to "cast" and "present." Cast our cares and burdens to God, and present our requests to Him. When we do what His Word tells us to do, we can then experience peace and comfort (Philippians 4:7).
I'm happy to report that Hayden is fine. I can hear him in the next room right now talking and laughing with his little sister. I'm so thankful for the laughter. I'm so thankful for the Great Physician who has given me a peace so that I can enjoy the laughter.
Dear Lord, in our lives there will be times of trial and fear. Remind us to cast our cares and present our requests to You, and leave them there. Thank You for the peace only You can give. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Related Resources:
Do you know the Great Physician?
Little Blessings from a Big God: Finding More of God through the Lives of Your Children by Michelle Medlock Adams
Walk with Me Today, Lord: Inspiring Devotions for Women by Emilie Barnes
Visit Melissa's blog
Application Steps:
The next time you find yourself carrying more than you can handle, cast and present.
Reflections:
When was the last time I asked the Great Physician for help?
Is there a burden I am carrying that I need to give up?
Power Verses:
Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (NIV)
Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." (NIV)
© 2009 by Melissa Taylor. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
www.proverbs31.org
We are all still praying for each of you every day. You will get through this!
The Lopers
The last five lines of your blog really broke me. I am so thankful that regardless of our circumstances we can still give praise and glory to God. Waiting at the bus stop brought back memories for me too. We continue to pray for healing over Kyara and that God will give peace over your precious heart. He loves all of you so very much, I trust you are finding rest in His arms. Love to each of you. Spokane
Genie,
Have a great Mother's Day weekend! You are such an incredible mother and you are so inspirational to all of us. Your blog this time really helped me to put being a mother into perspective. We do ALL need to appreciate all of those daily "Mom Things" that we may begin to take for granted. You are such a blessing to all of us that know you.
Please find something special to do for yourself this weekend and have a fabulous Mother's Day.
Laurie and Josette
Hi, Genie
So thankful for a "normal" day and for the wonderful things Kyara's surgery will bring.
I sent an email to you at your hotmail account... it's something I would rather not post on your site.
As always much love and prayers,
Michelle
My Sweet Genie,
I have been out of town and crazy trying to catch up at work. This is my first time on the computer in over a week. Boy, ya'll have ocme "leaps"! Glad the surgery is over and she is on the mend with this one. Our HOPE word has to be "WOW"! That word surely describes how all of us feel when we hear and see what you and your family are doing. Each of you is amazing and wonderful! We keep all of you in our prayers. I love you. Love to Peggy! Wink
I have been thinking of you the last few days and when I was reading through your most recent posts I am so filled with joy with Kyara's progress! Yes and NO!!! That is fantastic.
You are an amazing mom. Having to juggle all the girls in different place must be so hard. I am glad you have so much help from your family.
My prayers are with you! You are an inspiration. God bless you and your sweet family!
Happy Mother's Day...to one very special mom!
Illinois
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