Kyara did not sleep again last night or at all today. She is going on about 4 hours of sleep over the past 2 days. The girl must be exhausted. I am concerned about her lack of sleep and how that is affecting her healing. Tonight the doctors have prescribed Hallidol, which is an anti-anxiety medication, that has been shown to be helpful in situations like Kyara's. I pray she sleeps. She needs it!
I believe in my heart that Kyara is in there. She is becoming more vocal with her displeasure at the stretching and moving we are doing with her. In fact, today when I was stretching her, she was moaning so we told her to tell me "no" and I would stop. I wasn't looking, but both Gunars and the nurse, Nick, said they saw her shake her head and she got louder with her moans, so I stopped. Nick had goosebumps. She is there, we just have to figure out how to get her out!
I would like to see more progress each day than what we are seeing. I know it will take time, but I want it NOW! I am having a difficult time understanding why this has all happened. There are a lot of "what ifs..." that I come up with on an hourly basis. What if we had waited until the next week for the dilation, what if I had told Kyara I loved her one more time before leaving her in the operating room, what if we had never done the gastric pull-up surgery in the first place? The only answer I can come up with is that God has a plan and this was part of the plan. I do not understand it... I cannot understand why Kyara's suffering is what is best for Kyara, but I know he has a plan. I still believe that Kyara is destined to do great things. She has already accomplished so much. Kyara's story has touched so many people, and the out-pouring of love, suppport, strength, and prayers has been amazing. I don't want to sound greedy, but I am looking for a miracle. I want Kyara healed, completely. I want her back home with us, running, laughing, playing the Wii, having picnics. I pray that is in God's plans. If it is not, I pray I have the strength to deal with whatever God's ultimate plan is. The only thing I know for sure is that I will always love Kyara, no matter what the result are.
This afternoon, Gunars and I took some time with Skylar. We went to the YMCA in Ann Arbor and she and Gunars swam together. It was so sweet to see them. Kassey is standing better on her own and has taken a couple of step by herself...walking is right around the corner! It is tough to spread ourselves so thin between the girls. All three need us, and to be honest, I need them, too. The strength of a child is amazing.
19 comments:
God knows your heart! Don't be afraid to plead with Him. You have every right to want a miracle! I just read this morning in Genesis where Abraham pleaded to God and God listened and acted. He is listening to you! I'm praying for you and Kyara. She is such a blessing!
Adrienne Maples
WRES
God is listening to all our prayers. Just remember that he is going to work in his time not ours. Also remember 2 other things that with the faith of a mustard seed he can move mountains and that where 2 or more are in agreement in prayer he is there. I love you all and support you all and will continue to pray for you all through this time in the valley. Lots of love, prayers and strength...The Lanes
It's a new month, a new week...a new chapter. As I've told Gunars, my prayers haven't stopped for all of you. I appreciate that you keep up this blog. I check on you all each day. You're such an amazing woman, wife & mom -- Gunars is so lucky to have found you! I hope to meet you someday!
God is taking care of you and will continue to do so. I don't always understand it all myself either, but like you said -- we shall have faith in God's "ultimate plan."
God Bless,
Noreen Giliberti
Miami, FL
Genie,
We are ALL praying and believing for Kyara to be completely healed. Kyara has been such a blessing to so many people. Yours and Gunars example of the love you both show for your girls is also a blessing. Do not lose hope and continue to ask God and believe that He will intervene. God is with Kyara every moment always. He wants you to completely lean on Him and let Him carry you through this time. Children suffering has never been part of God's plan. We live in a fallen world, but it won't be this way forever. Every mother cries with you and continues to plead with the Father. Every father weeps and longs for Kyara to run and jump in Gunars' arms again. God hears us and He is in complete control of your family's destiny in Him. We will never give up hope and we will always love the Dzenis family. Spokane
Genie,
Please don't do that to yourself. I know how torturous and exhausting it is to play those mind games with yourself. I am a long time member of the 'what if' club. Everything you have done and every decision you made was in the best interest of Kyara and because you love her so much. Don't let that doubt creep in there and drain you of one ounce of energy you can use to direct towards something more positive. I am not chastizing (sp?) you, I just know how miserable a place those thoughts can take you. All the 'what ifs' in the world, will not change the 'what is' right now. Don't beat yourself up Genie, you have done an outstanding job and many of us would pale in comparison. I wish I could give you a hug right now and thank you for the inspiration you have shared and the lessons you are teaching us through your blog. Who knows next time I have a problem and I start the 'what if' game, maybe I'll think of you and remember my own advice. We all know it is easier said than done. :)
Kyara,
What are we going to do with you girl? I know we told you to fight and give it all you've got, but honey you do need to rest. You are the spunkiest little girl I have ever known. I pray you will get some good sleep tonight and look forward to hearing about your progress tomorrow.
We love you all,
The Henley's
All of us can “what if “our life away. Don’t do this as it serves no purpose and is not the best thing for YOU. I know, I know, we all can’t help but do it, but try. Destined to do great things…….Kyara is already doing GREAT things. She truly is doing God’s work. She creates love and compassion from everyone who enters her room and she is even able to do this work from hundreds of miles away and with complete strangers!!! THIS IS GREAT WORK!!!!!! (Something most of us are unable to do) Sleep tight little girl.
Yes Genie, the strength of Kyara is truly amazing, and of you, Skylar, your mother, and everyone else around you... God's ultimate plan will reveal itself when the time is right. It is difficult to understand now, but it will come to light eventually and you will see that Kyara is the most important cog of his complex plan. Don't lose hope, don't despair, be patient, for it will pay off in the end. Hang in there, Genie, and please send all of our love and support to Skylar, Kassey and Gunars. Hope Kyara got some much needed rest last night and today's progress keeps moving forward.
Genie,
I can't communicate to you and Gunars how absolutely amazing the two of you have been through this entire situation. I've always thought (and of course still do) you both are unbelievable parents, and if we ever had kids I aspired to be as involved, as creative and as loving as you guys. But it's become so much more....everyday I am more amazed by your strenth, your smarts, and your honesty. Your blog has touched so many people going through tough times. And for those of us who are friends and just praying all we can...you are so inspiring. I read your blogs and am motivated in so many ways. I am motivated to volunteer more...G'ville does have shands and a ronald Mcdonald house. I am reminded to be more grateful for the small things in life. I am grateful to have you guys in our lives and want you to know that your struggle and growth through this process has given many people renewed faith, but also a renewed outlook on life. As always you are in our thoughts and prayers! We love you! Heather and Jimbo
Genie and Gunars,
We are praying for God's miraculous healing for Kyara right now too. You are so right. Kyara has touched so many in a way that will change lives for eternity. Often we do not understand because we can't see the "Big Picture." The questions you have are normal, and we’re sure any parent would do the same. You know that you and Gunars have only made decisions with what was best for Kyara in mind. You have had to make extremely difficult decisions, and you can be proud of how unselfish and loving you have been in each decision you have made. Everyone that knows you guys knows how much you love and desire the best for each of your sweet girls.
God knows your heart and hears your prayers. It is never His plan to have His children suffer. God is Love. Anything you may feel or think that is not based in love is not from God. Guilt is not from God. He does not desire for you to be tortured with feelings of guilt. So, please do not let the enemy cloud your vision. God has big plans for our Kyara and your whole family. God doesn't do this to us. That is not how He operates. He works through the difficult times and teaches us more about His love as he reveals that to us in the process.
We don't mean to sound preachy. We just want you to know how much we love you and support all the difficult decisions you have had to make as parents. You are amazing and seeing you question yourselves is just difficult to those of us that admire you so much. Keep all positive thoughts. That is where God is, and that is where He works. We continue to praise Him for the progress and we ask Him for even more improvements for her very soon.
Please kiss the girls for us and tell Kyara that we love and miss her so much.
Josette and Laurie
Genie, please don't beat yourself up with the what-if's. Kyara is a special child who has touched so many people. We pray for God to keep her safe and give her the strength to keep fighting. Continue to stay positive and wait for the miracle to happen. Again, our thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
The Bracco's
Genie, Kyara and Family,
Thinking and praying for you often!
Keep on keeping on.
:)Stephanie
Keep praying and believing in God's plan for healing! You are such an amazing woman, and your family is so special. God is listening to your prayers, and all of ours over here! He is so powerful, and in his time, he will show you his plan! In the meantime, you need to trust that you have made difficult decisions with Kyara's best interest in mind. You have been extremely unselfish and truly loving in the process, and you cannot allow yourself to feel ashamed in that!
Please tell Skylar that we all miss her at school, and she is such a great big sister!
Dear Genie & Gunars,
While reading this morning, God lead me to a scripture I believe He wanted me to give to you. This is Ephesians 3:14-21, it is a prayer from Paul.
When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And you may have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fulness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen
Genie and Gunars,
FAITH, FAITH AND MORE FAITH, I send you all the good and positive vibes from Caracas, Venezuela. God is hearing all of our prayers and he knows what he has to do which is to get Kyara well so she can enjoy her beautiful life!!!
Andrea Flores
Genie, don't think about the What Ifs and the past. You guys have been exceptional parents to all three girls... and you have done everything right. Focus on the present and the future and you'll see how your focus, your strength and your faith will guide you through this difficult time. Hang in there and focus on the present. Lots of love and prayers are going your way from Miami.
Tina Carlos and Nico
We will pray specifially for sleep for Kyara. I am sure she is not sleeping because she is too busy fighting - she has that spirit that you cannot hold down :-). But we will pray that God will provide her the healing sleep necessary to allow her body to heal completely.
Genie, we will pray for peace for you. God will pull you through this. It is ok to question and wrestling with your feelings. We are all here to hold you guys up, and we are all praying.
Thank you for being so open and sharing this with us. It allows us to pray specifically for you and for your sweet family.
Th Brandons
Genie, you aren't being greedy-you are simply being specific in your requests and hopes. There's not a thing wrong with that! In fact, the more specific you are, the more specific we can be with our prayers. I echo what others have said...God hears us, and he knows your heart....an no one can fault you for wanting the best for your child and your family.
The what ifs can be hard to swallow sometimes....but you just have to keep trudging on.
I hope and pray that Kyara was able to get some rest last night and that there has been more progress today.
Love,
Kate
Genie, I was reading Luke 8 tonight and had your family on my mind; being afraid of something is not due to lack of faith. Jesus is always with us, in our "boat of life,"even though we might sometimes think that he is sleeping and not paying attentionto us. Jesus is the one who can calm the storms in our lives and quiet the winds of worry around us, but he does it on his timetable. Please give all the girls hugs from me and remain poistive. We are all praying and I know God hears us.
Kyara, I pray that Jesus' healing hand will be with you and soon you will be back home. I hope you get some rest and I will check on you tomorrow. I miss you!!
Love you, Misty
Ask and ye shall receive! God will answer all of your prayers in time. Continue to lean on him for support. God Bless you all!
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