Today has been a long day for me. I spent the night last night with Kyara and did not get much sleep. I think my eyes finally closed at 6:00 am and I woke at 7:30 for rounds. Kyara was more active last night with her movements and I was so afraid she would pull out her breathing tube. She also had increased stiffening which was concerning to me, so I felt uncomfortable going to sleep. I pulled a rolling chair up to the bedside and sang to her and told her stories most of the night. I remember most of the words to The Cat in the Hat, but not all :) Hopefully she was correcting me!
When neurology came in this morning, Kyara was still very stiff. She just seemed like she was not relaxing at all, or when she was relaxed, it would not last long. We asked and kind of pushed the idea that perhaps she has some discomfort due to the breathing tube, the chest compressions, and the chest tubes. Most people who have a breathing tube are on sedation medication to stop them from "fighting the tube". The neurologist agreed that she should be on something and that they can turn it off in the morning so that it will not interfere with their exams. So, we started her on a versed drip and that has really seemed to relax her.
This afternoon my mom stayed with Kyara while Gunars and I took Skylar and Kassey swimming. I felt extremely guilty for going without Kyara and I was thinking about her the whole time we were gone. This did not make me a very fun playmate.
Through this ordeal Gunars and my mom have been the rocks that I have been clinging to. Many of you have mentioned how strong I am in the posts, and that credit should not be placed on me. I am actually having a very difficult time. I went down to the pysch area tonight to talk with someone and they gave me some sleeping pills. I know that as Kyara gets better, I will, too, but I have to be there for our other girls, as well. I have not been the best support for Kyara either. I am trying to be positive, have faith that she will heal, and look for the improvements, but I am also terrified of setting myself up for a fall. As Gunars reminds me, there is nothing we have been told that is an absolute sign that she can not heal. We have to keep praying and waiting. I feel so helpless and guilty for her being in this position, though.
So, tonight I am going to take a sleep aid, curl up in the bed beside Skylar and dream of a happy time and place when Kyara is at home with us, laughing and playing.
Kyara Dzenis
25 comments:
Dear Genie,
You must not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. The people who love you and care about you are there to help you, so let them help. Gunars, your mom, and the rest of the family and friends physically there and in spirit are all there to support you in your time of need. You are a strong woman, as Gunars is the strongest man I've ever known, and Kyara the strongest little angel on this Earth. You must all keep faith alive, keep thinking positively, for without hope, life has no meaning. We keep you in our prayers and hope tomorrow will bring a little ray of hope your way.
We hope all of you get some much needed rest. We continuously pray for all of you. Please kiss our girls, and let them know they are deeply missed by those of us that love them at Willis Road. We anxiously await more good news. In the mean time, may God comfort all of you with His Amazing Grace!
We love you!
Josette and Laurie
Genie,
You are strong. I know that it doesn't feel like it but you are. You are blessed to have the support from a wonderful and strong husband and mother. You and Gunars are a team and as soul mates he is going to help you when you need it the most. A mothers love as you know will never fade. It's wonderful that you have your mom there to help you out. The Lord has blessed you with people that He knows will take the best care of you and your girls. Hold on to faith. I know that you don't want to set yourself up for a fall-right now we claim victory in the name of Jesus. We hold on to the faith that He is a healer and that Kyara will be healed. We don't know what His plans are...we have no idea why this has happened but I believe that He is working. We have no idea how many people are being touched by Kyara...based on what I have seen and read, A LOT of people have been touched.
I hope that you are able to rest tonight. Hold onto your little angels and rest...rest in peace tonight. May tomorrow be filled with hope and peace.
Leonie
Genie, you are stronger than you realize. You wouldn't be human if you weren't having a hard time with all of this! You cannot expect yourself to be perfect all the time...that's God's job. :) I hope that you were able to rest last night....I know that will help you a great deal to face the new day. As always, thank you for keeping us posted on the latest with Kyara, and I will keep praying for *all* of you!
Love,
Kate
Genie,
I know that you feel like the world is crashing in around you right now. In times of anguish like this, I have found it comforting to read the book of Job from the Old Testament...get an easy-to-read translation. If anyone understood what it is like to go through terrible times, it is Job. I pray that God will give you comfort in this season of your life and that you will get some much needed rest with Skylar and the rest of your awesome family. We all know that Kyara is a great fighter and that God is using this time of rest for her little body to heal in His time. We all love you and miss you!
Susan Loper
Dear Dzenis Family,
We are praying at Willis Road for Kyara. Hold stedfast and unmovable to your faith that Kyara will be healed.
Elisa Orr
Genie, it's the combination of love and strength that you family has that is keeping everyone together. You are all an example of what families should be... and how health, love and support is really what matters most. We continue to pray for tiny steps in Kyara's improvement. Know that here in Miami, there are prayers coming from all parts of the city, from friends, loved ones... and even those who have never met you...
Tina, Carlos and Nicolas
Hi, Genie!
Allen's and Missy's neighbor, Steve, here.
My job takes me all over the world and I've met some of the most awesome people. I stay in touch with them via Facebook where I've asked them all to visit your BLOG and to pray often for Kyara and your family.
Below is a poem I received from Jill Gehr, who lives in Wisconsin. I'm posting it on her behalf. I hope you find it comforting.
Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine,
after the rain.
Perhaps you may stumble,
perhaps even fall,
but God's always ready,
to answer your call.
He knows every heartache,
sees every tear,
a word from His lips,
can calm every fear.
Your sorrows may linger,
throughout the night,
but suddenly vanish,
in dawn's early light.
The Savior is waiting,
somewhere above,
to give you His grace,
and send you His love.
Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
"God always sends rainbows
after the rain.
Many blessings for her.
Jill
Genie,
I am praying for complete restoration and healing, in Jesus name.
Blessings, strength, and peace to you.
Leah
Dear Genie, No sleep can make us think all sorts of stuff - I will add in "Help Genie get some good sleep tonight."in the prayers. Today there were a lot of Southern Baptists praying for Kyara and all her family! The speaker today in my Sunday School Class was a woman who has been healed from the worst kind of breast cancer, after she ignored her symptoms until it had spread all over her body. She has been cancer free for almost two years, and her testimony was how she claimed the promises of God's Word and His ability to heal. After the class, she came over to me and told me we were right to pray for Kyara's recovery (she had heard me tell the class how Kyara was doing as of your last post and how I would like them to pray specifically for recovery)and not to be afraid to ask for the best from our Heavenly Father. Butch's class is a pretty powerful bunch of pray-ers, and they are praying for her now, too. We love you all, and wish we could help. Love to Bunny- Gayle
Take some time for you too! You need to be physically strong to help Kyara. All your girls know that you love them more than anything! You need to rest to be able to help all. Hang in there,
Michelle
Okay Genie this is my third attempt to respond to Kyara blog. You and your family are going through a dificult time, but with you continuing to stay focused on God and his strengh He will see you through. We have placed Kyara on our Sunday School prayer list and also the churches. You are an outstanding your lady, that I truly admire. To be able to continue to share your, Kyara, and family experience is just amazing. As someone said earlier baby steps and remember baby steps are good.
Love and continue to pray for your family
Jan, Keith and Ryan
Everyone in your family is strong to get through this trial. You need each other and it is such a blessing to have each other to lean on during these times. Please give everyone a hug from us and know that we are praying for ALL of you!
Lots of love,
Lana
Genie and Gunars,
May God grant you comfort during these trying times. We are praying for Kyara's recovery and hoping that you will be able to go home sometime soon. Anything you need--we are here for you!
Much love,
Leizl and Mira
My Dearest Genie,
I write several things and nothing seems to make it better. As a mother myself, I wake with Kyara on my mind and heart every night and day. I walk, drive, shop with her in prayer without ceasing. Every child reminds me of her and I just want to hold them. Mothers unite and join me in this plea for Kyara and for God's healing power. If anyone reading this blog is not a believer, find someone to help you understand the peace that only Christ can give. This accident could have happened to anyone, this is no ones fault. Please Father God, give comfort to the entire family, ease their suffering and help them to not lose hope. We remember the scripture,"Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."Matt.11:28 We claim this promise in Jesus name and we are expecting a miraculous healing in Kyara's precious body. Put your arms around the entire family and may they know that You are God. You created Kyara and Lord she has a purpose and destiny through You.
We refuse to lose hope and thank You in advance for the blessings to come. Amen in Jesus Holy Name!
Genie,
You are all in our thoughts and prayers, continuously. Please let us know if there's anything we can do.
Angelina, Ann Marie and Keith Jones
We are all praying for all of you!!
Love you guys
Misty Evans
Genie,
The verse that keeps running through my head is "I can do all things through Christ Jesus who gives me strength." He will pull you through this. Lean on those around you for strength and comfort - that is what they are all there for. God put them in your life for that very purpose.
We continue to pray for you all!!
The Brandons
Dear Genie,
I know you don't know me but I had to let you know how much we care about Kyara....we think about all of you so much! Missy Leonard loves you all so much & has thankfully gotten us to join in this fight for Kyara! Everyone is standing together for the common goal of God to heal Kyara!!! We are praying that God will guide the doctors and give them the wisdom on how to deal with her situation. We are believing in total restoration in her body!
I wish I could take some of your pain away! We are so encouraged and inspired by the tremendous spirit of FAITH that you have had during this trial. So many people here are praying for Kyara....God is the healer!!!!
We will not stop praying!!!
Natalie Hooper
Genie,
I hope you were able to sleep a little better last night. Do take something to help you sleep, and dream sweetly of the near future when Kyara will be back home with your family playing, eating, and thriving!
Of course, you worry... you're her mommy! But as you mentioned, you want to be there for your other girls, too. Take advantage of your mom and Gunars when you can, eat well, try to get some rest, and put the rest in God's hands! We don't understand why our children must sometimes suffer and go through these scary ordeals, but I firmly believe that it's all for a greater purpose. By their strength (and yours!) we are learning so much about faith, hope, and love, about perseverance, and about what's really and truly important in this life. I believe that God lets this happen to our little ones to help others grow and to teach us lessons about life. You must be so very proud of your Kyara!
I wish we could be there to help with the other girls. We miss you and your family, especially Kassey's ear-to-ear smile every morning! Know that we are with you in spirit and in prayer. The boys mention Kyara in prayer every night, and much of my family is praying for her as well.
Love,
Michelle
I came across your story from a friend thru facebook. I am truly sorry for what you are going thru and I know how difficult this time must be for you. When my son was born he had several complications, he was born premature -I don't want to make this long .... he had 2 major surgeries 3 days after being born and was kept in the NICU unit for 9 weeks ... he sat there with a breathing tube and a food tube that would feed him- I think that has been one of the hardest thing I have EVER had to see ... thru this time I would visit him daily and felt my heart break into pieces everytime I had to leave - at that time my daughter was 2 and my mom was taking care of her and I had to go home to be strong for her and my mother. I remember my husband and I calling at the middle of the night to make sure he was ok.. praying that the nurses would caress him if he cried or sang to him if he awoke.. several times we were greeted by doctors at the front door with some bad news and we needed to braces ourselves, thru it all we never lost hope, never lost faith and it seemed like the days I was weak my husband was the strong one and there were times I felt like I had to be stronger for him...at times (and I am not a very religious person) I felt that God was carrying me and holding me up when I thought I could not hold on anymore.. in reading your blog it brought back so many memories of that time, of the falling asleep crying, of seeing my son laying there with so many machines around him, I had visions of pulling them off and just running out with him, I remember trying to read between the lines of what the doctors were really telling us .... this was 12 months ago and I wanted to write because I wanted to give you hope - my son is fine now and doing very well ... there is one thing I learned thru all this is that children are so strong ..... Kyara will make it thru this - I will keep you in my prayers and I hope that somehow this will help you.
Dzenis Family,
There is no answer to the question of why. The only truth that is undeniable is found in the Bible. Peace is promised and delivered to all who seek it. Sometimes life gives us the test before we have had time to study and prepare for the lesson. Your strength and dexterity throughout the recent trials God has handed you is unbelievable. Cry if you feel the need, laugh when you can, and lean on each other. YOU all and KYARA will prevail throughout this trial. Continue to seek the peace God has promised and you will find it.
Know that your ARMY of faith back home is working hard for your family. Continue to be faithful, no matter how demanding that may be.
Much love, respect, thoughts and prayers....
The Vaughn's
Dzenis Family,
I am so sorry you have not had more good news. I can not begin to understand the heartache you feel. I do sympathize with you and want to help in anyway possible. As a Mom and Nana I do want you to know that not one person on this earth could or will blame you for Kyara's accident. I know that you have and are doing everything humanly possible to help Kyara recover. I admire you as so many others do because you have gone the extra mile and you have spoken up for Kyara when she could not. Most parents could learn from you two. It will not be long and Kyara will be speaking to you and then before you know it for you.(lol) As you know little girls grow up and think they know more than their parents. This will be Kyara so soon. Bless all of you and I hope you get some much deserved rest but I do understand why you have been at the hospital so much. You are the best. Could we get the new address.
Lots of Love
Fran & Mike
You continue to be in my prayers, for Kyara, for your sweet girls, for your sweet husband and also for you! You are not alone. God Bless!
We keep you and your family in deep prayer. You are all phenominal in your time of rejoicing and trials. We pray for much more rejoicing.
Mike and Mary Beth Grabhorn
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