Kyara Dzenis

Kyara Dzenis

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Kyara's Eulogy

I have been asked by several people to please post Kyara's eulogy that Gunars did at her funeral. I must say, maybe I am biased, but I think he did a fantastic job. I know I could not have stood up there, kept my composure and discuss Kyara's life in front of everyone.


So here it is...


"To say that we have suffered would be an understatement. But what may not be so clear, is that if this is the way it was to end, I wouldn’t change a thing. Kyara has enriched our lives in such an amazing way that she truly was an earth angel. Our lives have experienced such deep emotions that we can begin to feel and appreciate the beauty of life.

Nothing about Kyara Dawn was average or usual. It starts with her birth. She was 8 days past her due date and she decided to be born on her mom’s birthday, August 6. Skylar Rose and I happened to go with Genie to the hospital on that day because of a scheduled Doctors appointment. Genie started to go into labor so they sent her to the Triage room with other patients. We were used to long deliveries and had nothing to worry about. When my dad came to get Skylar, I went to the Triage room mentally prepared for the marathon that was coming. I heard a woman screaming in horrible pain. I felt bad that Genie had to be in a room with a screaming woman. That woman screaming was Genie and she was going through a “precipitous” birth. Kyara was coming, and she was coming now! Genie pushed 4 times and Kyara was born. This is a very painful way of delivering a baby and Genie was not shy about screaming. After Kyara was born and everybody was ok, I told Genie I was going to get some water. She thought it was for her. In reality, I was about to pass out and didn’t want Genie to worry about me. I turned the corner, told a nurse I was about to pass out, and… I passed out.


Kyara came to us the way she left us, shockingly.


The truth is that Kyara looked at death in the face several times and said, “not yet”. We all know that death has an undefeated record, but Kyara took the game of life into quintuple overtime.

When Kyara was 2 years old she drank a chemical, potassium hydroxide. This is a nasty chemical that eats your skin. The Doctors warned us that she may not make it. She was in a medically induced coma for one week. She could’ve left us then. But she wasn’t ready. Overtime.

We were in an Intensive Care Unit for another 7 weeks. During this time there was a perforation of her stomach wall and she needed emergency surgery. She took death to double overtime. “Not yet”, she must have said. Those were hard times, but she won. Her esophagus was damaged and she couldn’t eat solid foods. She had to be fed through a g-tube. But she was alive and full of life. We felt invincible and so happy.

She went to the hospital once a week for an outpatient dilation of the esophagus that kept scarring down. The Doctor would open it up so her saliva could go down.

None of this could slow her down. She knew the routine of her outpatient dilation so well that she could do all the pre-op testing herself, like take her weight, blood pressure, temperature, and the order of all her medications. The regular nurse would give Kyara the equipment and Kyara would do it all. When a new nurse would come, she would tell her how it had to be done.

She was an orange belt in karate. During karate sensei instructs the students on the procedure of an attack and there is a lot of repetition. He would say, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2. Kyara raised her hand one time when she was a beginner. Uh, oh, what was Kyara going to say?! Nobody questions sensei during class. She asked him, “When are you going to say 3?”.

Kyara played soccer. She told us before a soccer game that she would score 10 goals. Considering she was 3 years old and most kids don’t understand the object of the game, her comment was funny. Taking into account that the game was only 20 minutes she would have to score every two minutes, almost impossible. But like everything she did, she was amazing. She was determined to score 10 goals. After every goal she would look at us and count out loud her count. “7”, “8”. It was a little embarrassing, but we were proud of her too.

She also loved to read. While her Pre-K class was learning the letters of the alphabet she was reading Skylar’s 1st grade sight words. She was also able to do simple math. She kept talking about all her boyfriends. She said that she had 7 boyfriends and apparently one of them regularly pushed her while she was in the tire swing during recess. Pre-K seemed a little young for me to be worrying about boyfriends. But this was Kyara’s world, I was just living in it.

I remember Kyara wanted to eat pizza more than anything else.

When she was 4 years old, we had to do surgery to completely remove the esophagus and raise her stomach. During this complicated surgery we were told that her esophagus was very scarred and attached to her aorta. Once again, she was not ready to leave us and took death to triple overtime. And she survived… again.

During her long and difficult recovery Kyara was nothing short of incredible. They had her very heavily medicated, enough to put an adult to sleep. In fact she was under such a heavy dose of medication that Kyara was intubated, she had a tube down into her lungs to help her breathe. But she was awake and playing Candyland! Doctors would come and into her room and be shocked that she was not only awake but coherent. She also figured out that if she would pretend to be asleep when a doctor or nurse would come into her room that they would leave her alone. She played possum often and very well.

Before she was allowed to leave the hospital she had to see a speech therapist. We were ready to go back home after 6 weeks of being in the hospital and needed her to show the therapist that she was fine. Now, Kyara liked to talk… a lot. Her vocabulary was very high. She could talk your ear off too and liked to ask many questions. Imagine Genie’s surprise when Kyara would not talk and even pretended the Therapist was not in her room by staring at the wall. When the therapist left, Kyara told Genie that she didn’t talk because the Speech Therapist looked “crazy”. She would also race down the hospital hallways in a red tricycle with the Physical Therapist chasing behind her. Only Kyara ….

Kyara finally came home right before Christmas 2008, and she got to eat pizza! Yes! What a happy time. We were all home, together and healthy. Kyara told me she even saved Kassey Rain’s life twice during this time. Apparently, Kassey was eating leaves and Kyara felt she would choke on them so she stuck her fingers in Kassey mouth and took out all the leaves, twice! Thank you Kyara!

Just one more outpatient procedure and we would be done. God obviously had other plans, and during the outpatient procedure she suffered an anoxic brain injury, 45 minutes of not enough oxygen. She did survive, though. “Not yet” she must have said. Quadruple overtime. During the next 6 months in the Intensive Care Unit and Rehab Center she developed an air pocket in the intestine wall that required immediate emergency surgery. Quintuple overtime.

Your determination to live is amazingly unusual, but that is just the way you have always been.

Nothing about Kyara has ever been normal. When she was born, she had a lot of hair on top of her head and nowhere else. Her teeth didn’t come until she was 2. Her favorite color was yellow. Yellow? I thought all little girls liked pink and purple. She insisted that her eyes were the color of French Onion Soup. She explained to me, when she was 4, that leaves change color when the chlorophyll falls out, I still don’t know where she got that information. It was impressive that she could say and remember “chlorophyll”. It was impressive that she could repeat that sentence. But most impressive of all, she UNDERSTOOD what she was saying. To be honest, I don’t know if that’s what really happens to leaves, but I know better than to second guess what Kyara said. Kyara understood so many things, she had a natural instinct and intelligence that was unusual. She absolutely was more intelligent than me.

Kyara has helped us feel the complete range of emotions to their fullest extent. We have felt emotional pain that was physical like we didn’t know possible. We have experienced sadness, terror, fear, rage, guilt, anger, despair, anxiety, and now grief to the fullest meaning of each word. We have also had some of the most wonderful emotions thanks to Kyara. I have never loved the way I loved Kyara. We have felt the boundless love from her school, our community, and our neighbors. Most of Kyara’s doctors, nurses and therapists have been fantastic. Humans are basically good people who try to help each other. Kyara has made me laugh several times so hard that my stomach muscles hurt and I couldn’t breathe while tears poured out of my eyes. I have never laughed so hard. When Kyara was happy it was contagious. She had the biggest, brightest, most beautiful smile. When Kyara laughed everybody laughed. We are so proud of Kyara for everything that she has done. Her determination and focus in what ever she did was unparalleled. The good times with Kyara were so pure, so deep and so majestic it redefines the meaning of ecstasy. Kyara has helped us form friendships and meet some very incredible people. Kyara has also brought us closer to God. We are, without a doubt, better people because Kyara touched our lives in such a profound way. Just like one needs hunger to appreciate food, we will appreciate and live life while having felt many emotions to their fullest extent.

Unlike birds that have to learn how to fly, when they put the angel wings on Kyara, she already knew how to use them. She was an earth angel. She will soon have a play date with a butterfly in a meadow of beautiful flowers. She will have a rose with her at dawn and she will laugh in the rain."



Take care and God bless you.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Taking Toys to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta




Yesterday my mom and Gunars' dad help us organize all of the toys that were donated at Kyara's service to take up to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta (Scottish Rite). I was shocked and amazed by the amount of toys, books, dvds, etc given. It was a great feeling to load up the entire bed of the truck and have more in the cab of the truck on the way up. It took 4 wagons, loaded with 4 boxes each, to get all the goodies into the doors. Thank you all so much for your donations!!! I pray these toys will light up the eyes of some of the kids at Scottish Rite.
Thank you!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Kyara's Celebration

Yesterday was perfect, as perfect as it can be when you are missing your daughter. The amount of love and support we received was amazing. We are thrilled with the toys that we will donate to Children's Healthcare in Atlanta. Kyara played with the toys so much while we were there, we feel it is the perfect way to remember her.

She looked like a beautiful angel. I was pleased that she still looked innocent and like a little girl. She was not heavily made up, she look...perfect.

The service was great, too. As much of it as I could hear, anyway. Kassey wanted to play with the toys and touch Kyara's picture, so she was a bit...noisy. Gunars read a euology that was awesome. Really explained Kyara's life and how much impact she has had on ours. Reverend Mark Westmoreland's sermon and Kristen's scripture readings were right on.

After the service we released doves and then went to Kyara's "birthday celebration." Skylar thought this idea up. We were discussing whether Kyara would age in heaven. I said, "I don't know." She asked, "Will she have a birthday?" I said we can still celebrate her birthday. And then after thinking about it for a second, I said, "You know, it is like she has been born again, just in Heaven. She has moved from this world and is now in her Heavenly Body. Skylar said, "So it is like she has two birthdays." Exactly. So from then on, we decided the reception after the service would be referred to as a Birthday Party. We had yellow, pink, and purple balloons. The tables were covered in the same colors and we tried to make it a more festive scene. This is more Kyara's style. It represents her much better than everyone sitting around sad. I hope she enjoyed it.

I thank God everyday for the 5 years we had with Kyara. I thank Him for the new relationships that have been born through Kyara's tragedy. I thank Him for the strength to see the light during the past year and a half. I would like to thank you for reading this blog, posting comments that have kept us going, and for helping celebrate Kyara's life (whether you were there, sent me a message, prayed for us to have strength, or just thought of Kyara).

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Meal Arrangements...

My wonderful sister-in-law, Missy, wrote this...

My name is Missy Leonard. I am married to Genie's brother, Allen. There have been a large number of people to ask me how they can help Genie & Gunars right now. Right now, providing meals for their family would be very helpful. I have created a Care Calendar to coordinate meals for them. If you would like to provide a meal for them, visit http://www.carecalendar.org/logon/35426 and enter the following information in the appropriate spaces:

CALENDAR ID : 35426
SECURITY CODE : 6517

If you have trouble with this, please contact me either on email (missy.leonard@comcast.net, or phone 770.461.0238)

Thank you so very much!

Kyara's Obituary

We have been working on getting arrangements in place. This is the obituary as we are sending it into the papers so it can be there for tomorrow's printing. We would like to sincerely thank everyone who has been there for us through the past year and a half. We truely enjoy reading your posts and knowing that Kyara has touch so many lives. Her life was short, but God helped her move mountains with her story.


Kyara Dawn Dzenis
8/6/2004 - 3/19/2010



Our beloved Kyara Dawn Dzenis, 5, of Sharpsburg, GA passed away on March 19, 2010 and is now playing with the angels in heaven.

She was born on August 6, 2004 at Southern Regional Hospital in Riverdale, GA. She went to school at Willis Road Elementary for Pre-K and then Poplar Road Elementary in Coweta County.

Kyara was an inspiration to all that knew her. She was brave, tough, and determined. She was an orange belt in karate, a soccer player and liked to read and write. She was very sweet and loving. To know Kyara was to be entangled in her web of charm. It was a blessing to have been a part of Kyara’s life.

Kyara is survived by her parents Gunars and Genie, and her 2 sisters, Skylar Rose and Kassandra Rain, all of Sharpsburg, GA; grandparents Mike and Peggy Leonard of Fayetteville, GA, Eriks Dzenis of Sharpsburg, GA and Luz Estela Robledo of Duluth, GA; great-grandparents Betty and Merle Leonard of Eastman, GA and Angelyn Screws of Columbus, GA; preceded in death by great-grandfather William A. Screws of Columbus, GA. Additionally, Kyara is survived by numerous loving aunts, uncles, cousins and incredibly caring and supportive friends.

A celebration of Kyara’s life will be held at 3:00 pm, March 23, 2010 at Fayetteville First United Methodist Church 175 E. Lanier Ave. Fayetteville, GA 30214. A viewing will be held one hour prior to the funeral service beginning at 2:00 pm. All are invited to join Kyara’s family and friends in refreshments and fellowship immediately following the service in the church’s fellowship hall.

In lieu of flowers, the family is requesting donations of DVDs, blank journals or toys (please see guidelines at http://www.choa.org/default.aspx?id=4178) that will be given in Kyara’s name to the Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta for its patients. There will be an area at Kyara’s services to drop off donations.

We love you, Kyara!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Planning Arrangements

We are working on arrangements for Kyara's service. We hope to have the service Tuesday, March 22, but we still have to make sure it will work with both the funeral home and our church. The service will be held at Fayetteville First United Methodist Church in Fayetteville, Georgia. As for visitation and such... we are thinking of having some time before the service for viewing and would like to invite everyone to join us in a celebration of her life immediately following her service at the church. Exact details will follow as we get them ironed out. I will know more tomorrow after meeting with both the funeral home and the church.

Today has been a better day than I expected it would be. We have tried to keep things as normal as possible for the girls. Skylar played in her soccer game this afternoon and played FANTASTICALLY! She said she thinks Kyara helped her...I think so, too. Skylar is now at a birthday party where they are having "makeovers." I received at text picture (Thank you, Marcia!) and she looked like she was having a blast. Kassey is hanging with Gunars and me while we get errands done and details figured out. We ate lunch with one of my brothers (Matt) and his family, my parents, and Gunars' mom (Luz Estela) and it was nice to just relax a little and enjoy everyone's company.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Playing with the Angels

At 6:40 this evening, Kyara grew her angel wings. She is playing and running, talking and laughing with her Heavenly Father and the other angels.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We already miss her terribly, but know she is at peace and is finally HEALED!

Sleep-Over

Gunars, Skylar and Kassey spent the night with Kyara and I last night. I loved having the family together again. Skylar, Kassey and I slept on a air mattress while Gunars slept with Kyara in her bed. I can't say anyone got great sleep, but I think it will make for a good memory in the future. Our air mattress partially deflated half-way through the night, and since I am the heaviest of the three of us, Kassey and Skylar ended up sleeping on top of me. I would wake up and move everyone around, but as Skylar said, "There is a 'hole' I keep getting rolled in." I guess I am the "hole." :)

Kyara's coloring has not been good today. She is very pale and has a bluish-grey look to her. At times her lips blanch to the same color or an even bluer color than her skin. She goes through stages of breathing easily to struggling where she is only breathing about 4 times a minute. We have been told these are signs that she is getting closer to being at peace. Although noone can tell us exactly how much long we get to have her here, they have said it could be 30 minutes to a couple of days. Either way it is not long.

This process has been extremely difficult. The only thing that keeps me sane is the knowledge that she will be healed and at peace in Heaven with God and that I will see her again. The timeswhen I let doubt enter my mind are the times I break down. It is hard not to question what we cannot see, but that is what faith is. And I remind myself that God is true to His word and I must believe in it. Then I wipe away the tears, give Kyara hugs and kisses, tell her how much I love her, and smile.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Scary Episode

Last night was calmer than the night before. I got a couple of "naps" inbetween nurses coming in to check on Kyara or to give medications. I slept with her in the air bed which changes pressure in its air chambers every couple of minutes to decrease chances of bed sores. This is good for her, not so comfortable to sleep on for me. Everytime I would get a little comfortable, the pressure would shift. That's ok though, I was more than happy to have the discomfort if it meant I got to cuddle with Kyara. She slept well, so that was good. This morning the nurse came in to take a temperature (they were unable to get a reading yesterday, she kept reading "Low"). This morning her temperature was 93.9. Ok, normal is 98.6. And it is amazing that she is warmer today than yesterday. We are attributing this to her neurologic instability and signs of her body not able to work right anymore.

Ms. Michelle from Willis Road came to visit this morning and while she was here we got Kyara up and sit in Ms. Michelle's lap. Kyara started to sound gurgly (?) so I suggested I take her back to sit her up. As soon as I got her up, she started vomiting and had trying to cough/gasp for air. My dad was here to, so after a minute when she still had not cleared it all and was starting to lose her color, I told him to get the nurse. It was very scary to watch her turn grayish-blue in front of my eyes and know that this could be IT. I held on to her and told her how much I loved her, over and over again. Beth, Kyara's home nurse was here and immediately came in and told me to move over to the bed where they could get some oxygen on her and suction. by the time we got over there, Kyara's color started to return and she finally made some good coughing sound. They still suctioned out ALOT of thick, thick mucus out. The thought is that she had a mucus plug that she was unable to breath around and that is why she turned blue. It was scary. I know that she is going to leave us one day soon, but I was not quite ready for today to be the day. I don't know if you ever get ready for that day. No matter how much we prepare ourselves, when we are facing it, I was scared.

Gunars, Skylar, and Kassey are going to come up this afternoon. The plan is for them to spend the night tonight. I can't wait to hold them! Thank you for the prayers and well wishes! They mean the world to us!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hospice Atlanta

This is a hard post to write...

Over the past month Kyara has been struggling more and more. She had the upper respiratory infection and since that time, other body systems have been shutting down. Her poor body has been through the wringer. She has been the strongest, most awe-inspiring person I have ever seen. It is amazing how much she (God working through her) has changed me in the past year and a half. After talking with numerous doctors, we knew we had limited time left together. After a lot of talking, praying, crying, and more praying, we decided to use Hospice Atlanta to help us give Kyara the gift of peace, comfort, and the ultimate healing. We kept Kyara at home for as long as we could, and decided to bring her to the Hospice Atlanta Center on Tuesday. I am staying up here with her and Gunars is coming and going while staying with Skylar and Kassey at home.

Prayers for Kyara's comfort are welcome and appreciated.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Nurses Came Today

Kyara's nurses came by today to check on her. She is still having all of the same symptoms and now she has crackles (sounds in her chest from junk) and diminished breath sounds on both lungs.

Skylar is having a harder time coping with all that is happening with Kyara. She is a tough cookie, but she is having to see and go through more than any 7 year old should.

Things are rough, but I trust in God's plans. He only wants the best for us, and we only want the best for our girls.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Latest

Kyara is still not doing well. She now also has an urinary tract infection on top of everything else. I changed her diaper the other morning and the smell was so strong it almost knocked me over. She is having a slimy, yucky discharge that we are told is characteristic of a UTI. Normally it is seen in the catheter tubes if a person is catherized or one might notice a "cloudy" urine when they pee in a toilet. Kyara is still not peeing much, so we have to wonder about kidneys.

We are doing our best to keep things as normal as possible for Skylar and Kassey. Skylar had her first soccer game this weekend and I "coached." Really all I did was stand on the sideline and sub players in and out of the game. But it was fun! Skylar played great! We then took the girls to the local pool (yes, it is indoor and heated!) Kassey is LOVING the water. She is thrilled to show me how she can dunk her head under the water and let go of the side. She loves jumping off the side, whether or not anyone is looking. That is a little scary! She doesn't know how to swim, yet, so we have to watch her closely. She is a little daredevil! Skylar is a fish, so she loves going to the pool. Kyara and I hung out and watched today.

Thank you all for keeping up with our family.